So me and my dad were at the grocery store today. I went over to the magazines and I sware to god some lady came over next to me and just farted. She like stood there, silently farted, and left after 30 seconds. And I poked out Robert Pattinson's eye from the magazine that had his face on it. Which was pretty much all of them, but this one was special, it was a Rob MAGAZINE. As in there was nothing but goddamn Twilight in it. No Demi. No Selena. No Miranda. (le sob :[ I love iCarly)
Want proof?
[link]Teehee. He looks like he has cum on his eyebrow.
Not only did I do it to that magazine, I did it to the other two issues there too.
[link]Anyways, as we were leaving, I saw these gel stick-on letters that had internet slang on it and I handed it to my dad and told him what they meant (I know slang, I wanted to see what he knew). "Ok, let's see here, 'Laughing Out Loud'.."Oh My God'..." and then he got to the word 'CYA' (as in see ya for those internetally impaired).
And you know what he said?
You really want to know?
He said, I repeat:
"Cover Your Ass."
And me, being the immature awesomeness that I am, I laughed. I laughed on the way to the check out. I laughed on the way from the check out. I laughed on the way out the door. I laughed in the parking lot. I couldn't stop laughing so I texted everybody and was like "omfg u guys i cant stop fucking laughing" and my friend Kristen went "wow ok..."
So there's my story.
Have fun laughing at this one, kids.
Oh, and here's a picture of Captain America bitch-slapping his sidekick, Bucky. (Bucky? Who names their kid Bucky?)
[link]
P.S.
I'm drunk right now.
[link]
I sent this to Kim too